Sometimes John Oliver has a bit about a funny birthday card and you think, "You're right John Oliver - this needs to exist." 

“Happy birthday, dipshit.” is printed on a blank inside 5.5" x 4.25" (A2) super sturdy 100 lb white notecard with the Craft Boner logo on the back. These come with a light blue square flap envelope so the person getting it will have no clue what kind of goodness is inside.